


like summer rainfall

by demonglass



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (allegedly) no strings attached kissing, Feelings Realization, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, candy stripers au? is that a thing?, kinda open ending but it's a Nice one, some fluff n bantz too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonglass/pseuds/demonglass
Summary: Donghyuck huffs, heated in that way of his that Chenle loves drawing out. “You’re a menace,” Donghyuck tells him, stepping forward to grab him by the wrist and give him a little tug up the last step.His grip isn’t tight, the tug isn’t hard. Chenle falls forward into his arms anyway.“You like it, though," he grins.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 16
Kudos: 66





	like summer rainfall

**Author's Note:**

> uhh this was supposed to be for nct title fest but then i accidentally wrote it all in two days and realized i don't have the patience to sit on it for three months so... now it is Not for that and i have to go come up with a new idea....thots n prayers pls <3 
> 
> anyway i dont even go here and i know chenhyuck(?) nation is literally a twenty square foot plot of land with only like five blades of grass growing in it but this is for those five blades <3 i hope u enjoy
> 
> thank u ash for helping me w the vagueness of the plot! & if anyone cares i wrote this to afterglow by taylor swift and rain in the spring time by gfriend...great mood music!

It's five-fifteen a.m. when Chenle realizes he's made a mistake. 

He wakes to rain lashing against the window he'd fallen asleep next to, and to a headache that makes him wish he were still unconscious. As he lifts his head up from the pillow of his arms on the window sill, the sky flashes white, impossibly bright for a moment before fading back to cloudy predawn grey. Chenle flinches as the lightning arcs between clouds, blinking against the light, and it all comes rushing back.

The overhead fluorescents twenty paces down from the stairwell, the flickering ones that no one has ever gotten around to fixing. The supply closet everyone says is haunted because it’s smelled like rotten eggs for months (maybe years, but Chenle hasn’t been around that long). The shattered glass all over the floor, trapping Chenle on the wrong side of the door. 

The look on Donghyuck’s face: as broken as the jar he’d knocked to the ground, no matter how he tried to hide it. How quickly he’d turned from happy to _that_.

_“Come_ on _!” Donghyuck says, beckoning Chenle forward with that bright, cheshire grin tugging at his lips. Chenle knows the look well, knows it means mischief and excitement, and maybe a little danger, but Chenle has always been a daredevil, and he knows Donghyuck will hold his hand through any trouble he may bring, as he always does. So it’s worth it- every time. “We’ve got ten minutes before Haerim realizes we’re not back yet. As long as we show up with the kits before then, we’re gold. But we’ll have_ less _time if you don’t stop_ dragging your feet _.” He enunciates the last three words to drive his point home._

_It sounds like a challenge to Chenle, so he pretends to hold out for a moment, just to make Donghyuck work for it. He pauses on the last step before the stairwell landing, leaving Donghyuck antsy to get to the door and get on with their task. “Are you sure? She sounded kind of stressed when she sent us up here. Maybe we should just grab the kits and go.”_

_Donghyuck narrows his eyes like he can see right through Chenle’s front. “You know that’s just how she is on these night shifts. Every time she pulls doubles she gets snappy, but she never means it. She never cares if we take a couple extra minutes- doesn’t even notice, if we time it right.”_

_“I think she means it when she snaps at_ you _,” Chenle mutters, but his lips betray him by quirking up at the corners._

_Donghyuck huffs, heated in that way of his that Chenle loves drawing out. “You’re a menace,” Donghyuck tells him, stepping forward to grab him by the wrist and give him a little tug up the last step, a little tug closer._

_His grip isn’t tight, the tug isn’t hard. Chenle falls forward into his arms anyway._

_“You like it, though,” Chenle says, grin on his face._

_Donghyuck’s eyes flicker past Chenle, down the stairs behind them to ensure it’s empty, though they’d be able to hear footsteps echoing if it weren’t. Donghyuck’s eyes are back on him as quickly as they’d left, and there’s something dancing in them, bright and hungry as fire. “You can’t prove that,” Donghyuck says lowly. And then, before Chenle can point out that_ yes, actually he can _, Donghyuck tightens his grip on Chenle’s wrist and presses a kiss to his lips. It silences any teasing protests that may have lingered on Chenle’s tongue, replaces them all with a happy sigh._

_Donghyuck pulls away quickly - too quickly - and when Chenle chases his lips, Donghyuck smiles. There are still flames in his expression, but they’ve changed, softened from bonfire fuel to a warm hearth._

_And this is where Chenle remembers that Donghyuck doesn’t just feel like burning up and breaking rules like pie crusts- he also feels like coming home. It’s a dangerous thought._

_“Come on,” Donghyuck says again, voice softer, but still laced through with energy Chenle latches onto._

_This time, when Donghyuck leads him forwards, across the landing and through the doorway, down the hall and to the supply closet, Chenle follows._

_“God, it smells terrible in here,” Chenle mutters the second they step into the closet._

_“It’s the spirits,” Donghyuck says without batting an eye. “I’m telling you, someone tried to summon something in here and the effects lingered.”_

_“Or someone snuck in here to eat lunch and lost an egg sandwich in some corner, and no one’s ever found it because they never clean this place.”_

_“Sure. Keep telling yourself that,” Donghyuck says, pushing up onto his toes as he pulls the kits they’ve been sent to retrieve down from one of the higher shelves. He passes one back to Chenle, who sets it on the ground by the door, starting a stack there. Donghyuck passes him another, and then stretches higher to try and reach the next couple kits, sitting further back on the shelf. The bottom hem of his uniform shirt rides up to reveal the soft skin of his back, the very beginning of the curve of his waist._

_Chenle can’t resist the urge to reach out and touch. He takes a step closer and runs his fingers lightly across Donghyuck’s skin, laughter bubbling out of him when Donghyuck yelps and flinches away._

_“Fuck you, Chenle,” Donghyuck hisses, throwing a glare over his shoulder._

_Chenle can tell he doesn’t mean it, though, because his eyes are dark and he wets his lips before looking away, stretching again to try and reach the kits a second time._

_“Try that again and you lose a finger,” Donghyuck warns with his back still to Chenle. The threat is empty, and he’s sure they both know it. Still, Chenle raises his hands in surrender and backs off. The faster Donghyuck gets all the kits down, the faster Chenle can get his hands back on him._

_“You know,” Donghyuck says, finally snaring two fingers on the edge of a third kid, “this sure would be easier if someone_ taller _was doing the reaching.”_

_“Well how was I supposed to know you didn’t want to do all the work when you walked in here and went right for the kill before I was even through the door?” Chenle teases as Donghyuck passes the kit to him._

_Donghyuck huffs, and Chenle knows he’s caught him. Donghyuck furrows his brows in what’s meant to be a frown but comes off as more of a pout, and steps to the side, waving Chenle past him. “This enough of a cue for you?”_

_Chenle rolls his eyes, but he’s holding back a laugh. “Yep, think I got the memo that time.” He walks up to the shelf and lifts his heels just a centimeter off the ground to reach the fourth kit. He passes it back to Donghyuck with a grin he knows is too close to shit-eating for him to get away with (not that he cares, though)._

_Donghyuck snatches the kit from him and adds it to the stack, then crosses his arms while he waits for Chenle to grab the last one. Chenle does need to get all the way onto the tips of his toes to pull the fifth kit down, but he manages without much trouble. When he turns around to face Donghyuck again, he’s still grinning._

_“You are so fucking smug,” Donghyuck says, taking the kit from him and stacking it with the rest. Then, before Chenle has a chance to respond, Donghyuck is kicking the closet door shut and whirling back to him._

_“You know you’re just as bad,” Chenle says, even as he lets Donghyuck back him up against the thin sliver of uncovered wall. His heels hit the trim, his shoulders next, and then he’s standing flat against the wall with Donghyuck right in front of him, boxing him in._

_“I make it work,” Donghyuck says. Standing there in the shoebox sized storage closet, orange light casting a ring around his head from behind, looking at Chenle like he’s the only thing in the room, in existence, Chenle can’t help but agree; Donghyuck does make it work. Too well._

_But, sure that it shows on his face anyway, Chenle doesn’t voice this. He wets his lips and meets Donghyuck’s gaze head on, fire on fire. “And I don’t?”_

_“I think you know what you do,” Donghyuck all but whispers, and his voice is laced with a hint of aggravation (the familiar kind, the kind that Chenle loves to draw out of him on purpose) as well as a hint of something else, something more._

_It makes Chenle’s heart skip and beat harder than usual. It makes him reach out to grab hold of the collar of Donghyuck’s shirt and tug him the rest of the way in before he has the chance to move himself._

_Donghyuck makes a soft sound of surprise as Chenle kisses him, but it’s almost lost under the scuff of his shoes against the floor as he presses even closer, and the rustling of his hands on the fabric of Chenle’s clothes. Donghyuck finds purchase on Chenle’s hips - right between where his shirt ends and the hem of his pants starts - and his hands are hot against Chenle’s skin. He squeezes, payback for earlier, and Chenle can feel Donghyuck smile into the kiss when the pinch draws a small gasp out of him._

_So Chenle kisses him a bit harder, runs his tongue between Donghyuck’s lips until he parts them. He keeps one hand fisted in Donghyuck’s shirt to keep him close, but lets the other drift to Donghyuck’s neck, fingers pressing into the skin of his throat, just over his pulsepoint. He can feel Donghyuck’s heartbeat, pounding against his touch._

_Donghyuck grips Chenle’s waist tighter for a moment in retaliation, but he must decide that’s not quite enough, because the pressure eases away as quickly as it had come, replaced by movement- Donghyuck’s hands sliding up under Chenle’s shirt, running over his sensitive skin so Donghyuck can hold him by the waist._

_Chenle shivers despite the heat of Donghyuck’s touch, and Donghyuck smiles again._

_The kiss breaks as Chenle tips his head back against the wall to draw in a shaky breath, and before Donghyuck can catch his lips again, Chenle slips his thumb to the underside of Donghyuck’s chin to tilt his head up as well. Donghyuck’s mouth curls into a pout, but he opens his eyes to look at Chenle._

_“Has it been ten minutes?” Donghyuck asks, blinking like it will clear the haze from his dark eyes. (It doesn’t.)_

_Chenle drags in another deep breath. He shakes his head._

_Donghyuck rubs his thumbs absently against Chenle’s middle. Normally, Chenle would think Donghyuck was doing it on purpose to get a rise out of him, but there’s something about the way Donghyuck’s eyes look right then - a little glazed, inexplicably soft considering where they are and what they’re doing - that makes Chenle doubt that there’s any kind of motive behind the gentle touch._

_A moment of silence hangs between them, Chenle waiting for Donghyuck to say something, Donghyuck just staring at him like he’s made of something impossibly sweet, sugarcane sculpted into human form. Chenle lets the hand he has clenched in Donghyuck’s shirt loosen so he can wrap his arm around Donghyuck._

_Before he gets that far, though, Donghyuck blinks. “You bored already?”_

_It should be teasing, but it isn’t. “No,” Chenle whispers in answer, because the air feels too thick for anything louder. Chenle’s never been bored with Donghyuck, never been bored_ of _him._

_The assurance draws a smile out of Donghyuck, and he leans in closer. “Good,” he says against Chenle’s lips. And then he kisses him again._

_It’s different this time; warm instead of burning hot. When Chenle bites Donghyuck’s lip, Donghyuck makes another soft sound for Chenle to breathe in, but he doesn’t bite back. He kisses sweetly, hands sliding over Chenle’s skin to meet at the small of his back so Donghyuck can pull his body closer. He doesn’t tease again, just holds him there while his lips pour honey into Chenle’s mouth._

_It’s not the first time it’s been like this, is it?_

_Donghyuck had been gentle in the beginning too, in the ides of spring when he hadn’t been sure of just how daring Chenle was, when he hadn’t wanted to cross any lines, even if Chenle hadn’t drawn any between them. That had been months ago, though, and Chenle has more than shown all his colors to Donghyuck by now, more than convinced him that he knows what he wants and knows how to get it. They’re long past Chenle being the one who had to back Donghyuck into a closed door and ask Donghyuck to finally just kiss him for the first time already._

_They’re long past that, and if Chenle really thinks about it, this isn’t quite the same after all._

_Donghyuck is gentle, yes, but he’s not shying away. When they’d first started stealing kisses in empty rooms and supply closests during their shifts together, Donghyuck had been tentative, held Chenle at a distance. Now it feels like Donghyuck would pull him even closer if he could. Months ago, Donghyuck had kissed with a kind of coolness, like he was afraid of putting too much into it, but now Donghyuck is warm all over, and Chenle isn’t sure if Donghyuck is melting in his arms or if he’s melting against Donghyuck. He suspects maybe it’s both._

_So this is different. Softer and sweeter._

_This feels like more than just kissing._

_For a moment, Chenle struggles to remember why that’s a problem._

_Chenle thumbs at Donghyuck’s neck and his skin feels like butter. It feels familiar; Chenle’s mapped this much of Donghyuck before. Donghyuck sighs, pulling back just enough to breathe. He stays so close that Chenle can still feel the ghost of his lips, so close that they’re breathing the same air._

_It’s enough distance for Chenle to come to his senses, though. “Donghyuck,” he says softly, his voice little more than a murmur._

_Donghyuck’s eyes open slowly, twin pools of emotion kept at bay by the veil of his lashes. He doesn’t say anything, just looks at Chenle with those eyes that make him feel like he could dive right into Donghyuck, fall deep enough he could drown if he stopped holding himself back._

_“Donghyuck,” he says again, arm slipping from around Donghyuck’s shoulders to rest on his chest again. With Donghyuck’s heartbeat under his palm, Chenle almost forgets what he wants to say. Almost, because this thought is stubborn, has clung to him ever since the very first day, their very first kiss- because he can’t shake this. “You know I’m leaving at the end of summer.”_

_Donghyuck’s jaw tightens. The haziness is washed from his face. He nods._

_"You know this is just_ this _. Just kissing,” Chenle says slowly, carefully. He doesn’t want to hurt Donghyuck by being callous in his reminder. “It just can't be anything more."_

_Donghyucks hands tense on Chenle’s back, and then fall away. Something shutters in his eyes; the warmth drains out, and they turn almost stony. "I know," he says, flat and empty, because he knows a dismissal when he hears one. He looks away, then steps away too- moving out of reach so Chenle’s hands fall limply from his body. Donghyuck rubs a hand down his arm, like he's trying to ground himself, close himself off. "It's probably been ten minutes," he says. His voice has turned cold, detached._

_He takes another step back and it's like he's slipping away from Chenle, like what they have is water running through Chenle’s fingers and being washed down the drain because he can't hold onto it. "Donghyuck-" he tries, reaching after him._

_But Donghyuck recoils from him, jerks away and knocks his shoulder into the nearest shelf. The shelf shakes against the impact, and a glass container full of opaque packages tips back and forth where it sits precariously on the edge of the shelf. And then, as Chenle watches, it tumbles over the side, crashing onto the floor between them._

_Donghyuck jumps back as glass shatters everywhere, curses too loudly for the small space. He doesn’t just jump, though; he keeps backing away until he reaches the closet door, until his hand finds the knob and he twists, tugging the door open. White light spills into the supply closet, harsh after the old yellowing light inside. Chenle can see the fluorescents flickering in the hallway, and the farther away Donghyuck steps, the more he looks like something out of a dizzying dream, blinking out of existence._

_"I'll go find a broom," Donghyuck says when he reaches the threshold of the door, still without looking Chenle in the eye. He grabs three of the kits they’d gotten down, and then disappears around the corner without waiting for Chenle to respond._

_And Chenle is left there, standing in the shattered glass, in the flickering light. With Donghyuck and the soft, piney scent of his cologne gone, Chenle can suddenly smell the rotten chemical stench of the closet again. The air tastes sour on his tongue, sweetness turned bitter. All he can do is stand there, stare at the destruction he's caused, think about how his heart feels like it’s being squeezed in his chest, the air crushed from his lungs._

_Somehow, he hadn’t thought it would feel like this, hadn’t thought it would_ hurt _so much._

_Was this really what he wanted?_

Chenle grits his teeth against the memory, though he quickly regrets it when it sends a sharp jolt of fresh pain through his head. He forces his jaw to relax, forces himself to breathe slowly. 

Getting left behind hadn’t even been the worst part, he knows. Somehow, not even the sight of Donghyuck’s retreating back, not even the realization that he was all alone again, had been as bad as that first whisper of hurt spreading across Donghyuck’s expression like smoke, had been as bad watching Donghyuck rush to close off every part of himself that he’d opened for Chenle to see, to feel. 

Somehow, Donghyuck’s pain had hurt Chenle more than his own. And he doesn’t even know if he has the right to feel like this, when it’s all his fault anyway.

Chenle pushes himself to his feet, like moving will help him clear his head. He looks around the room - still empty - and lets out a breath of relief, though he hadn’t expected anything else. Checking his watch, he can see that it’s barely past five in the morning, so it’s only been a few hours since he’d fallen asleep, and in this quiet town, it’d take more than just a thunderstorm to suddenly fill the hospital to capacity in such little time. 

He glances out the window again, at the thick clouds blotting out the sky, and the downpour bending trees towards the earth. It’s too early to be awake, and it’s still storming too badly for him to make his way home. He’s alone in this spare room with nothing but his half-charged phone, his scuffed white shoes, and his wrinkled uniform. He’s alone and now he’s awake, and he knows he won’t be able to drift off again, because he hadn’t even meant to fall asleep the first time, but some time past midnight, exhaustion had worn him down too much to fight off. Now, though, he’s wide awake thanks to the way his head pounds, thanks to the dizzying whirlwind of thoughts crashing together in his mind. Sleep feels far, far away.

Another sligh slips past his lips and he begins to pace in a weak attempt to distract himself. (It doesn’t work.)

He’d thought- he’d _thought_ he’d known what he wanted, what he could and _couldn’t_ want, but now all that certainty is gone, washed away with the rain, wrenched out of his grasp like Donghyuck’s hands. He’s been telling himself from the beginning that Donghyuck was just interesting, just exciting, just nice, just a friend, just a good kisser, just _temporary_. 

_Just just just,_ like he hasn’t been able to see the way Donghyuck’s been looking at him for weeks, feel the care buried under the heat of his touch. Like he hasn’t been able to feel _himself_ softening more and more into Donghyuck with each passing day. _Just_ , like he hasn’t started seeing flashes of Donghyuck in dreams, like he’s _ever_ hesitated to take Donghyuck’s hand when he offers it, even when they’re not _doing_ anything. Like he doesn’t search for Donghyuck’s bright eyes and bright laugh every time he sets foot in the hospital, like he doesn’t catch himself thinking about Donghyuck when they’re apart, wondering what he’s doing, who he’s with. 

_Just_ , like his throat hadn’t closed up at the cold shoulder Donghyuck had given him through the rest of his shift, like tears hadn’t burned at the backs of his eyes when Donghyuck had said goodbye to Haerim and Hyojung the night before, but had left Chenle with nothing more than a cursory glance. Like the tears hadn’t fallen free once he was alone in this very room, realizing that Donghyuck might never look at him with warmth in his eyes after this, might never touch his skin - even fleetingly - again.

Chenle’s watch flashes, quarter past five, and he realizes there’s a simple explanation. These past few months, he and Donghyuck haven’t just been having fun, haven’t just been sneaking excitement into their volunteer work wherever they can. They’ve had _something_. Something Chenle has been too afraid to acknowledge, something he’s been avoiding, as if pretending he couldn’t see it would save him the inevitable pain of it all breaking apart. They’ve had something real. Something he may have utterly ruined before it was even fully realized, with his own insistence that it would never work, could never last.

It’s not exactly a revelation- more like a parting of the clouds in Chenle’s head, like finally pulling back a curtain to reveal what’s been hiding on the other side all along. But knowing how he feels, knowing that he _does_ want Donghyuck in more than just stolen moments, in more than just a passing fancy, doesn’t mean Chenle knows what to do. His phone is heavy in his pocket, but it’s not like Donghyuck will be awake to see him text or call, not like Donghyuck would have any reason to answer anyway. 

It seems like there’s nothing Chenle can do to alleviate the agitation crawling over his skin, to ease the fear that he’s broken what he’s built over months of shared laughter and touches, the fear that he’s burned it all down and realized his mistake too late to salvage it. It seems like all Chenle can do is wait, but he’s never been as patient as he should be.

So he spares the empty room one last glance, and then pulls the door open and heads out into the hall. It’s early enough that there are precious few people on staff, so there’s no one around. The hall is empty, and Chenle walks through it with no direction in mind, with no purpose but to keep himself moving so he’s not trapped in a small, dark room with his thoughts any longer. 

It only half works. He’s not stuck in the room anymore, but he’s still stuck with his thoughts.

_Does he really have to just wait? Is there really no way for him to try and make things better now, before it all sinks in and becomes permanent? Is there no way for him to tell Donghyuck that he was wrong about them, about everything? No way to tell Donghyuck that he’s_ sorry, _that he wants to make things right, if Donghyuck will let him? That he’s a coward and an idiot, but he wants to try and make this work after all?_

Chenle makes it to the end of the hall and reaches for the stairwell door automatically. He pulls the door open and his feet carry him down one flight of stairs, then another and another, until he reaches the ground floor. He hesitates before pushing the door open, since he knows there will be people on the other side, but ultimately, it’s harder to stay put than it is to keep going, so he steps out of the stairwell and into a hall that leads to the check in counter and waiting room. 

He recognizes the worker on staff behind the counter, as well as a nurse that passes by him, and he’s not sure if they acknowledge him because they recognize him too, or because he’s still in his volunteer uniform, but either way, he’s sure to return the gesture. The waiting room has only two people in it, nestled in a far corner, and Chenle doesn’t pay them any mind. His pacing takes him all the way to the far wall, to the rain splattered windows that show a blurry view of the parking lot outside. 

Chenle walks along the wall, eyes tracking droplets of water as they run together against the glass, until he gets too close to the doors and they slide open automatically at his presence. A gust of cool, humid air sweeps into the waiting room, and Chenle almost turns on his heel to take his pacing elsewhere, but before he can, something outside catches his eye. Instead of walking away from the doors, he steps closer, peering through the falling rain to see whether he’s so tired that his eyes are deceiving him, or he’s somehow really seen what he thinks he has. 

He walks right up to the threshold, grateful for the awning over the door that keeps rain from flying inside with the wind, and squints ahead. There, in the parking lot, sits a familiar car - green bumper sticker on the back and all - that should have left hours ago. It’s Donghyuck’s. Donghyuck’s car in the parking lot, which means… which means Donghyuck never left the night before. Which means Donghyuck is still somewhere in the hospital.

Chenle’s heart leaps into his throat and he’s moving before the information has even finished sinking in. He turns away from the automatic doors and hurries back the way he came. Distantly, he hears the doors seal shut again, but it doesn’t really matter. Everything has narrowed down to this one thought, this one goal: if Donghyuck is here, Chenle has to find him- find him and fix this mess he’s made. Find Donghyuck and hope he can forgive him. 

Chenle races up the first flight of stairs, and each heavy step sends a jolt of pain up his spine and into his still dully-throbbing head, but he does his best to ignore it. Focuses on trying to figure out why Donghyuck had never left, trying to figure out where he might be now. Maybe it had been storming even worse than Chenle had realized, or maybe Suyeon - their supervisor - had caught Donghyuck before he made it all the way out and asked him to stay late, and the storm had worsened afterwards? Either way, it seems like Donghyuck has been stuck in the hospital trying to wait out the storm just like Chenle. 

Chenle reaches the first floor landing, but his gut doesn’t let him stop. _Where would Donghyuck have gone, if he was stuck in the building overnight?_ Chenle passes the first floor and hurries up to the second, where the break room is. He hadn’t gone anywhere near it the night before because he hadn’t wanted anyone to see him, but it’s the most sensible place for Donghyuck to be, and as much as Donghyuck loves skirting the rules sometimes, he’s always professional, and yes, _sensible_ , where it counts. If Chenle knows him, and he thinks he does, then Donghyuck will be there. 

Still, despite the urgency running through his veins, when Chenle reaches the break room door, he hesitates. What if Donghyuck _isn’t_ there? Or worse, what if he _is_ , and he won’t give Chenle the time of day. No, Chenle forces himself to let out a long breath to ease his heart as it tries to jackhammer in his chest. Even though he’s hurt Donghyuck, Donghyuck is still caring and generous; he’ll give Chenle a chance. 

Chenle closes his hand around the doorknob and hopes that he’s right. He twists, pushes the door open with bated breath, and watches as the room slowly comes into view. He steps inside, and if he hadn’t already been barely breathing, his breath would have caught in relief. 

Donghyuck is there, folded over the break table that’s pushed against the wall, head pillowed on his arms. His right cheek is squished like putty and his eyes are closed. He’s asleep. 

Chenle exhales, and closes the door silently behind himself. As much as he wants to talk to Donghyuck, he doesn’t want to wake him at six in the morning when he’s spent the night sleeping hunched over a table. He doesn’t want to give Donghyuck any more reason to look at him with veiled discontent or resentment. So, still careful not to disrupt Donghyuck’s sleep, Chenle steps quietly across the floor and sinks into the chair opposite Donghyuck’s. He sits sideways, so he can lean his back against the wall, and folds his arms over his chest, ready to wait. He tilts his head back and looks up at the ceiling, and tries to figure out what he wants to say when Donghyuck _does_ wake up. 

When his eyes get heavy, he lets them fall shut, and tells himself it’s fine- he can still think, even in the dark. 

But the next thing he knows, he’s jolting awake to the scrape of a chair against the floor.

Chenle’s eyes fly open, and he pushes himself off the wall to look around the room for the source of the noise. He finds it after only a moment: Donghyuck, frozen in his seat, hands on the table like he’d just been trying to push himself away. Donghyuck is staring at him, face creased from being pressed into his arms while he slept, and his eyes are red, a little too raw for it to be from sleeping poorly.

Chenle’s mind goes blank. He has to dig the blunt ends of his nails into his palm to refocus himself, so he doesn’t waste this chance and sink them for good. He opens his mouth, and what he means to say is _I’m sorry, can we talk?_ but what comes out is, “Why didn’t you go home?” Chenle grimaces as the words fall from his lips, cursing his own curiosity. 

Donghyuck blinks at him, the only movement Chenle has seen. Before he can answer, Chenle scrambles to correct himself. 

“Wait, wait,” he says quickly, “forget that.” He swallows, tries to ensure his sincerity shows on his face. “I’m sorry,” he tells Donghyuck. “Can we talk?”

Donghyuck sighs, slumps in his chair and crosses his arms. “What else do you have to say? I thought you made things pretty clear, before.”

And there it is, Chenle can see Donghyuck’s eyes shuttering again, trying to block him out. Chenle leans forward in his chair, reaches a hand out though he knows he can’t reach all the way across the table to Donghyuck. “No,” he says, “that’s the thing. What I said before… I’m sorry. I thought- I thought it would be easier that way. But-” Chenle swallows, forces down his pride so that he can do this right “-I was wrong.”

Something flickers across Donghyuck’s face. Something that gives Chenle hope. 

“Donghyuck,” he says, “I’m leaving in September - I know you know - so this whole time I just… I mean I just figured it made sense not to make _this_ into anything, so there wouldn’t be anything to break off when summer ends, but last night…” he trails off, takes a breath and forces himself to follow through with this admission, “I realized I was being a fucking idiot. This already _is_ something, right? And I don’t- I don’t _want_ to just break things off in a month because it would be simpler that way. I’m sorry I had to screw it all up first before I could really realize.” He takes another breath, holds Donghyuck’s widening gaze. “I like you, Donghyuck. So fucking much, actually. I don’t want just kissing, and I don’t want to just give up on this. I don’t want to lose you.” 

For a long moment after Chenle falls silent, Donghyuck just stares at him. Chenle gets jittery after only a few seconds, and if not for the way he can see something unfurling across Donghyuck’s face, he thinks he’d already have lost his cool.

“So,” Donghyuck finally says, “you want to do this for real? Not just ditching for ten minutes to make out in the closet, not just you saying goodbye in September and then being done? You want to try for real?”

Chenle bites the inside of his lip and nods. “Do _you_ want that?”

Donghyuck pushes his chair back and stands in one swift motion. “You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve, asking me that,” he says, stalking around the length of the table to stand right in front of Chenle. “If you didn’t already know, you wouldn’t have said that crap last night.”

Chenle looks up at Donghyuck and swallows. “Is that a yes?”

Instead of answering, Donghyuck takes both of Chenle’s hands in his own and pulls him up so they’re standing nearly chest to chest. Once he has Chenle where he wants, he uses his hold on Chenle’s hands to maneuver them around his waist. He still doesn’t answer.

“If this is payback for everything, I know I deserve it, but would you please still ans-”

Donghyuck cuts Chenle off by pressing a quick kiss to the corner of his lips. “Yes, stupid,” he says with a half-formed smile. “I actually really like you too. I want to do this for real.”

“Oh,” Chenle breathes. “That’s good.”

Donghyuck’s lips curl into a full smile for him, just the right mix of exasperated and fond. Just the right amount of fire in his eyes. “Yeah,” he agrees.

And then he kisses Chenle again, for real. It tastes slightly stale, but Chenle is too relieved by Donghyuck’s answer, by the feeling of Donghyuck’s hands and lips to care. It’s Donghyuck, so it’s enough, more than enough, for him.

( “I stayed because I knew you wouldn’t be able to walk home in this weather,” Donghyuck confesses later, Chenle’s hand clutched tight in his own as they head down the stairs towards the ground floor. “I thought you’d try to wait it out in the break room, so I waited there for you. Took you long enough to finally get there.”

“Really?” Chenle asks, disbelieving. “But you seemed so upset when you said goodnight to the others. You wouldn’t even look at me.”

“I know,” Donghyuck says. “I _was_ upset. But as soon as I saw how bad it was out, I figured I couldn’t just leave you here at the mercy of Zeus or whatever, even if you were being a prick.” He sighs, “I guess I just like you too much for my own good. Sleeping on that table really fucked up my neck.”

Chenle squeezes Donghyuck’s hand. “Thank you. I’m really lucky.”

“Yeah you fucking are,” Donghyuck mutters, but there’s no heat to his sulking.

“I’ll give you a massage if you want to hang out after driving me home,” Chenle offers. “My grandparents won’t be up until ten at the very earliest.”

Donghyuck pretends to have to consider this.

“I’ll open one of our spare toothbrush packs for you so you can brush your teeth and we can make out?” Chenle suggests, sweetening the pot.

Donghyuck shoots Chenle a grin that makes something pleasant and excited curl in his stomach. 

“Is that a yes?”

Donghyuck knocks their shoulders together and reaches for the stairwell door. “What do you think?”

“Yes. Definitely yes,” Chenle says.

Donghyuck’s grin widens. “Looks like you’re pretty smart after all. I think we’re gonna be all right if you keep thinking like that.”

Chenle smiles, feels a little thrill race up his spine. _Yeah_ , he thinks, _we’ll figure out how to make this work._ It’ll take more than some distance to make him give up Donghyuck again. “I think you’re right.” )

**Author's Note:**

> would u believe me if i said this was supposed to just be fluffy when i started it? oops?


End file.
